Damn, boys: an exciting groups of comelings. Roll out the red carpet and then test-drive their asses into the ground.
I need your player info and a mug shot from each of you.
Best,
Unter den Uebrigen
Original thread: https://lowcaliber.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/5886011002/m/4486006502 · recovered from the saved MSN Groups page https://lowcaliber.com/archives/030111kn.htm · MSN Groups message 1 of 16
… Pacing back and forth in the council hall, Impaler tryied not to externalize his fury caused by the present state of things; he was returning from a bloody campain, with both victories and defeats; his most trusted captain, Baigum, failed to conquer a small village due to the courage of his inhabitants, thus he had to impale him, as a lesson to the others. And now, the situation with Lord Wintermoon (a smile lighted his scarred face, as he remebered the days of his youth spent with Wintermoon -the hunting of eagles with slingshots, the courting of nobility’s daughters, and there was always the curiosity in watching the condemned walk to the Crow’s Donjon to be hanged) was unbearable … his thoughts faded away when he observed someone standing in front of him. It was Masuhara, the mercenary brought back from a campaign by Unter den Uebrigen, and entrusted with the command of the Guards. He watched him standing there - a cold and terrible presence:
“So, would you care to tell me why you imprisoned Lord Wintermoon? I hope, for your sake, to have a good explanation.”
“Lord Wintermoon is acting strange lately, sir. He is always reading those strange looking pieces of papers, and I was astonished when i sa him talking to himself several times.”
“Hmmm…this is very strange, I don’t know what to believe. Go bring him here.”
Strange thoughts were racing trough Impaler’s mind: indeed, lately Wintermoon was wrapped in a shroud of mystery, but .. “no, I better wait” said Imp to himself …
[there’s no more books to read Baigum, so we write new ones]))
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The lock opened audibly and the guy on the door seamed a little scared. Lord Wintermoon just raised an eye on him. Than a he grined.
“Well I dont know what are you doin’ here? I mean you want to let me free?”
The guard wasn’t sure what to say.
“Anyway should I come with you or are you just bringin’ a message for me? If so I guess you can speak now, I will not disappear for your eyes or run away. Trust me, as I trust in you and we are fine. So speak and don’t let me waiting to long!”
As the guard spoke about escorting him to the council hall, Wintermoon wondered what would come next. He burried the papyrus in one of his little bags at his belt and said" So let’s go. Impaler is waitin’"
The guard nodded and they left the prision cell to it’s shadows …
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… Impaler’s thoughts were stoped by a deep voice:
“Greetings Impaler!” it boomed.
All heads turned at once toward the entranceway. There stood a handcuffed man wearing a black cloak, with his eyes glowing red as burning coals; a guard was standing behind him, with the mace ready in his hand.
Impaler stood up and aproach the cloaked man. When next to him, he drew his sword, and taking a deep breath, swung the glinting blade high into the air and brought it hurling back down. The sword clanged on the marble floor and the man’s cuffs went twisting away from his hands.
“Long time no see, Lord Wintermoon!” shouted Impaler to the man. “What happened, you seem changed from the last time I saw you?”, then turning away from Wintermoon, said in a low voice:
“There is an evil which I’ve seen in this world, and it lies heavy upon men…”
[… I think i’m blocked )]0].
MSN Groups message 4 of 16
When from in the next room the calumnous rumbles of the klavier waft in; a long-haired lover of Liszt conjures maidens with the strokes of the ivory. B-flat begets big busted ones, and d-minor stout Jewesses. Deciphering the Runes of Winter’s ancient manuscript, he translates the forgotten language into a lively fugue in three voices. The performance so pleased the local body of governing gods, the Dodecarchy, that it inspired them to grave prophecy over the lives of the three warriors and the Crazy Man of invisible weapons.
It was at this moment that Jim Morrison walked in, and requested that he might fuck his mother, which had been banned from TV by the syndicates in the 1960’s. The hapless spectators were unaware that Masuhara had just been spied poisoning his mace with arena mushrooms…
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hahahahahahahahaha…
!!!
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“Changed?” The man in the black cloak asked.
“Well, great Impaler I may have changed, but I just would say I’m getting wiser. When you can see the shadows in the darkness walking by as you stroll along the streets of the blind folk, that awaits it’s death … When you can hold the sword, that cuts there life apart, when you see the little child lieing on the road, breathing the last breathes in his short life … you only can ask, should I still fight… I wandered through many woods, through canyons. I crossed the sea and I fled for my own past, because I was a warior and not sure,if I had the right to cut others lives apart. Now I found the answer and I returned. I may be accused for leaving, but I brougt you all an answer: Fight for you right to live, not for right to handle a weapon. Think about every turn you do in your life, because it could be teh last one, you will do. Conquer the hearts of the folk, not the land. Help them to survive and not to become forgotten.”
“This may be all sound strange to a die-heart warior, but when you see the truth in it, you will get to a higher level of skill. We love our swords, axes and maces, but we also love the comapyn of each other and that last thing, is all that counts …”
The man in the black robe, laughed a little and than said:
“I have no faith in death anymore, I believe I have found death to often …”
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Meanwhilst in the arena, masuhara for some reason resumes his third person talk. As he poisoned his mushrooms he thought, “Bah, this will keep those pesky mop people from my trusty magical lower cased l!! Come forth yee hamburger warriors the time has come to take back the mighty pretzel farm! LALALALALALALALALALALALALALA I CANT HEAR MYSELF!!!” His mind in shamble, masuhara was happier than ever…
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And thus spake the gods of the Dodecarchy unto Masu of the Order of Fot:
“Thou shalt verily be honourèd if thou abandonest not thine heritage of Marioland. Play thou not with Koopa Troopers; neither eat the mushrooms of 1-up and Powerup.”
At this very moment the horde of nymphs, which had been conjured by the long-haired lover of Liszt, descended upon the warriors in question with androphagic lust. They meant to “sheath their swords”, and that would surely spell the doom of our heros, or at least their becoming-indolent, which is the same thing…
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Surely out of every horde of nymphs there must be one leader. This leader ought to be the fairest and strongest of them all. She could only be the one that would ever satisfy Ragnar. And as their eyes met they both knew what was going to happen next. Ragnar eagerly whips out his leathery cock while she gets on all fours. Masu and Impaler watch from a distance in utter disgust Confused by this, Ragnar approaches her closer and suddenly winces. Staring him in the face was one of the most disgusting asses he had ever seen. She then tilts her head sideways and hisses: “Come my pet, crawl under me and drain me of my bittersweet nectar”. Ragnar, hoping that somehow he might get a blowjob out of this, complies with her orders and begins the laborious task of lapping…
MSN Groups message 10 of 16
OMFG dying to find out how this turns out
Naz
MSN Groups message 11 of 16
A quick thought passed trough Impaler’s mind: “There has never been a great talent without an element of madness”; but there was some truth in Wintemoon’s words. Images from the past battles were flashing before his eyes: warriors panic at the first sight of battle, women and childrens butchered while defending their homes, squires pulling arrows out of their wounds to fight and save his wounded camarades.
Involuntary, he clenched his sword, causing all to take a step back, except for Wintermoon, who was standing there as in a trance. "Damn, am I turning into a monster?Hmm…". Then, staring in Wintermoon’s eyes, said:
“No, Wintermoon, I don’t believe in turning away from your old self, and hide in the pages of books; it is far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even thought checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor sufer much, because they live in a grey twilight that knows neiter victory nor defeat…”
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Damn, that’s hilarious…
The “quick thought” is valid for all of you <including myself> ::(lol
Keep it coming, boyz !!!
Imp
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And with each lap crept the disease of indolence into an ever more flaccid Ragnar. Odin had not been elected this term into the Dodecarchy, and so could only watch with filial amusement as ol’ “Leather Cock” drank his vaginal doom.
At that moment, as the coals were becoming hot, the long-haired lover of Liszt seized the quivering mountain of maiden by the three inch folds and diced her over an open fire. There was enough food for the entire warriorship, even as Sturm clamoured for second helpings of “drum sticks.”
“Now boys,” began the long-haired lover, “that we’ve feasted on beef and cottage cheese, it’s time to set our minds to manlier mettle. There exists namely a group of gatherings at castle ‘GameSpy’ who even this very instant crave an Emporer. The place is rife for siege even as the peasants for oratorical feats of splendour. Let’s gather up our best arms and politicians and ramble…”
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Lord Wintermoon seemed at first angry because of those words against books.
“Do you know what is your best companion in time of darkness? It’s your friends and it’s your dreams. Books are both! Well, they can’t fight for your dreams, that you should do alone. Indeed I did this! I fought my shadows and lost my dreams after wining against the darkness. But as you may say, all is coming back to you, and so my dreams too. I will never let go of books! They even saved my life and health! But as a fighter those seem to be only strange words, aye?”
He noded to himself and than he did something nobody expected, he cried…
“I was going back in my old home, after the last war. I had seen all those books scattered across the floor! I was nearly at my end. After fighting creeps and wariors that wanted to get our village down, I was marked with wounds. Than we moved away from this part of the realm, leaving my books behind, or at least what was left of 'em” His eyes now became a distant look.
“And on our long walk I found those word ofthe books, haunting me in my dreams.”
Now he was looking directly at Impaler and said: “Those words were as follows: Take care for your friends and you shall survive until they die …”
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Impaler was about to answer to these harsh words when the side doors of the council hall were opened with fury and a scout stormed in:
“Our borders are under attack!” The hall started to quiver with the startled words of the people inside.
Turning to face the scout, Impaler said: “Who dared to trespass against the gods?”
Trying to catch his breath, the scout answered: “It is a horde of strange-looking women, lead by two men - a long haired one carrying a small black book and a strange musical box, and someone who is called Sturm and seem to be the religious leader of the horde.”
“Could be the prophecy?”.. thoughts were running wild in Impaler’s head. "Let’s prepare ourselfs for the worst, warriors!" then facing Wintermoon: “Now we will see if your words are true, old friend …come, let’s get our weapons”
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